Young Social Media Influencers Debate Leaving
Same Sex Attractions/Behaviors for Christ
by Debra Baty
This truth in Proverbs is important enough that Solomon repeats the exact verbiage in chapter 14 & 16. Clearly, this is a truth worth driving home… there are countless ways men, women and young people make foolish and destructive decisions based upon what seems right in the moment.
This faulty thinking can be traced all the way back to Adam and Eve’s original disobedience to God in the Garden of Eden. Even there, before sin saturated nearly every aspect of humanity, a decision was made. A decision based not on what God clearly stated, but on what “seemed right” regardless of what God said.
Naturally, the world doesn’t care about God’s laws. Many don’t even believe in the reality of a personal God who created all things, let alone a God who gave His life to redeem hopelessly fallen humanity. The real issue isn’t the perspective of the unchurched and non-believers. Rather, the far greater concern is so many are living according to “a way that seems right” to them, even as professed Christ-followers.
The examples are endless, but certainly compromise made in the inordinate pursuit of: pleasure, comfort, money, careers, retirement planning, following feelings, personal happiness, sex, and identity are a few of the many ways we set ourselves on a path leading toward death because we reject God’s way for what feels right to us.
As our understanding of and value for God’s laws diminish, we functionally consider ourselves to be more enlightened and “nicer” than God. So we make compromises for ourselves and others that often seem small at the time, frequently giving way to cumulative or major sudden life-choices that are a total departure from God’s intention and outside of His protective boundaries.
When this happens, we engage in the same distorted thinking and reasoning as Eve. We observe the “fruit” before us (whatever that might be). Satan, the world, and our own flesh reason that “it” seems good (Genesis 3:6) and we depart the narrow path of life for the wide path of destruction and death. Sadly, in our deluded condition we often influence others to join us on this path that promises wisdom, fun, and freedom, but actually leads to bondage.
Setting aside the many areas we as purported Christ-followers and regular church-attendeee ignore the lordship of Christ in our lives and abandon The Narrow Way, this particular blog post is addressing one primary area: cohabitation.
In 2019 Pew Research reported that 58% of white evangelicals approved of cohabitation if the couple intended to get married.
According an article at www.probe.org/cohabitation “Cohabitation, as a lifestyle, is on the rise. Consider the significant growth in cohabitation rates in the last few decades. In 1960 and 1970, about a half million were living together. But by 1980 that number was 1.5 million. By 1990 the number was nearly three million. And by 2000 the number was almost five million.
Researchers estimate that today as many as 50% of Americans cohabit at one time or another prior to marriage. The stereotype of two young, childless people living together is not completely accurate; currently, some 40% of cohabiting relationships involve children.”
I have a friend who regularly attends church, participates in Bible-studies, and highly values connecting with other Christians for support and mutual encouragement. She gave her all to an abusive first marriage, doing everything she knew to walk out her commitment and vows. When she discovered that her husband was committing adultery repeatedly she separated from him for a significant amount of time. With his apparent repentance and commitment to work on their marriage, supported by positive actions on his part over time, she returned home in hopes of participating in the much needed growth and development of a far better marriage.
Unfortunately, he did not have the same level of commitment, and as bad as the first 10 years of their marriage was, the years that followed were far worse, including more adultery. Eventually, she left the marriage and divorced her husband. She was devastated, to say the least, and needed time and counseling.
Eventually, without any intention of pursuing a relationship she became friends with a Christian guy, which led to a romantic connection. This brought about a dilemma. My friend had been so emotionally and mentally abused and violated, she was totally afraid of the prospect of ever marrying again. She also didn’t want to put her kids or herself through another failed marriage. She and her boyfriend wound up crossing sexual boundary lines. After that behavior continued for months, it didn’t seem like a big deal for him to move in, with the idea that it wouldn’t be long before they would “tie the knot”.
It’s been 4 or 5 years. They attend church together and seemingly have a life and family together, but with no actual commitment. Her boyfriend wants to get married, but there are still so many areas of unprocessed pain and fear it’s just been easier for my friend to stay where she’s at – living a life of cohabitation, disconnecting from God and her own conscience in this area and ignoring the impact her behavior is having on her now adult children, who are great young men and women, but care nothing for Christianity. Her witness for Christ and her inner peace have been compromised.
In most cases though, cohabitation isn’t about unresolved or avoided trauma from a previous marriage. It’s simply convenient; a way to save money, a way to “test drive” the guy or girl before saying “I do”. But this is a complete disregard for the institution of covenant marriage originated by God.
At www.crosswalk.com an article entitled, “Cohabitation and divorce - - is there a correlation?” stated the following: A 2010 "meta-analysis" looked at 26 peer-reviewed, published studies that followed various couples over time. This analysis found that marrieds who had cohabiting pasts were more likely to face divorce, and that "noncohabitors seem to have more confidence in the future of their relationship, and have less accepting attitudes toward divorce.
Hebrews 13:4 is frank and clear, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators [those who have sex before marriage] and adulterers [those who have sex with someone other than their spouse after marriage] God will judge.”
A few years ago a friend confided in me that he was completely baffled by his 12-step program leader. He had been part of a popular Christian recovery program in a local church for more than a year, working out his own substance abuse issues. He had recently learned that his leader was living with his girlfriend, but according to the leader they weren’t having sex.
While it is possible (though highly unlikely) they were not having sex, is that all that matters in whether or not couples are cohabitating? Aside from the fact that sexual sin is far more likely when we are living and sleeping under the same roof, how does this impact those who look to us as a shepherd or mentor? Either this will generate mistrust (as it should), undermine the leader’s character, or it may embolden others to live out the same practice, usually without any effective boundaries to guard against sexual sin.
1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 says “But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every appearance of evil”. Avoiding or delaying marriage and cohabitating instead may seem like wisdom, but it’s definitely not godly wisdom.
Staying on the narrow path with God and trusting His many commands to avoid sexual immorality are both good and for our flourishing, leads toward fulfillment, joy, and life. Let’s choose life, rather than momentary pleasure accompanied by severe long-term consequences.
On Nov. 22, 2023, Amala Ekpunobi, a podcaster who used to be on the political left, and is not a Christian, posted a review of an online debate, which she described as follows:
Jubilee’s recent Middle Ground conversation between current and former members of the LGBTQ community. I truly felt in the middle on this one, as I’m neither part of the acronym community nor of the religious people who’ve left it, but it made for a very interesting, insightful, and at times, tense conversation. Let’s get into it.
Ekpunobi’s YouTube channel has 1.78M subscribers, and this particular review video has at least 142,575 views, expanding the reach of the original posting. Her review of this debate, entitled, “Can You Stop Being Gay?” was refreshing as it offers the perspective of a non-Christian who gave everyone a fair hearing. She was confused about certain points made by the orthodox Christians on the panel, but asked for clarification among the Christians in her own audience to help her grasp what was being said. It was good to see she knew enough about Christianity to ask when something seemed to not be in line with our faith, and that she knew Christians she could ask for help.
The Debate Pane
Eight persons formed the panel, four who currently identify as LGBT+ and four who no longer do so – all of whom claim a relationship with Christ. The four who currently ID as part of that acronym are Abigail Hillz, Brandon Robertson, Candice, and Gilbert. The four formerly LGB-identifying individuals are Rashad Verne, Rodereck Blassingame, Samuel Perez, and Xiala. Of these, the ones with the most experience communicating online are Brandon Robertson and Samuel Perez.
From his website, we learn:
Rev. Brandan Robertson is a noted author, activist, and public theologian working at the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, and social renewal. Robertson is most known for his work as the “TikTok Pastor”, creating thousands of TikTok videos on inclusive theology which have garnered over 200k followers and 5 million views. A prolific writer, he is the author of nine books on spirituality, justice, and theology, including the INDIES Book of the Year Award Finalist True Inclusion: Creating Communities of Radical Embrace. Robertson has bylines in publications such as TIME Magazine, San Diego Union Tribune, The Huffington Post, NBC, and The Washington Post. Robertson received his BA in Pastoral Ministry and Theology from Moody Bible Institute, his MTS from Iliff School of Theology, and his MA in Political Science and Public Administration from Eastern Illinois University. He is currently pursuing his PhD in Religion from Drew University. He currently resides in New York City.
His YouTube channel has 2.95K subscribers where he’s posted 131 videos and received 309,893 views. On TikTok he has 215.5K followers and has accrued 5.5M “likes.”
Samuel Perez describes himself on Instagram as:
Former Gay Stripper Now Child Of God. Worshiper. Pastor. John 1:5 💡
Hi, my name is Samuel Perez, I love to share my story and experiences on how God has changed my life from dating men to being exclusively Gods. I hope my story and experiences can help others know that they too don't have to live bound by the homosexual lifestyle and that God loves them!
https://linktr.ee/SamuelAbrahamP IG: SamuelAbrahamP .. CONTACT ME Email : UnitedTwelve@gmail.com
Both Perez and Robertson state they are pastors. Two of the orthodox Christians on the panel are married to someone of the complimentary sex – Xiala and Rashad, with Rashad having a child on the way. Candice described herself as having a “wife and kids” and has an “Affirming Counseling” practice, helping those who want to embrace homosexuality as though it was compatible with the Christian faith.
One individual who stood out, and introduced quite a bit of confusion, was Abigail, who has a disorder of sexual development called De la Chapelle syndrome, and identifies as “intersex.” This is “A rare difference of sex development (DSD) associated with a 46, XX karyotype and characterized by male external genitalia, ranging from normal to atypical with associated testosterone deficiency.”[1] So, she is genetically a woman with a chromosomal abnormality creating some type of male external genitalia. This is an objective, clinically verifiable condition which, throughout the debate, she and others on the currently-identified as LGB panel believed was on the same biological footing as sexual orientation. Scientifically, this is not the case, as there is no agreed-upon definition of sexual orientation or reliable objective measurement of it. There has not been any one biological cause or marker of same sex attraction found, only potential influencing factors.
Debate Topics & Discussion
The prompts for the debate were:
0:36 You're queer even if you suppress your homosexual desires
7:52 There is a scientific basis behind being LGBTQ
13:44 Conversion therapy has positive outcomes
20:06 A healthy family requires a male and female role model
[No discussion posted.]
20:20 The Pride Movement is negatively affecting younger generations
29:06 LGBTQ people won't go to heaven
35:18 It's healthy to experiment with sexuality
Not surprisingly, the panelists often spoke past one another, particularly over Abigail, whose medical DSD condition is not the same as those experiencing attractions to the same sex. For example, when the traditional/orthodox Christians all stepped forward for the promt, “LGBTQ people won’t go to heaven,” Gilbert later raced forward to voice how he was appalled they were also condemning Abigail. The Christians on the panel made no such judgement, seeing this as a separate matter. But it was hard for them to get a word in edgewise to correct Gilbert’s false assumption.
On that question, the Christians spoke boldly about the condemnation of the practice of same sex erotic behavior in Scripture, but the transformation possible through Jesus, focusing on I Cor. 6:9-11. They encouraged pastors and churches to speak more often about redemption for those experiencing sexual temptations or gender confusion.
Brandon shared how he had a negative experience with Christian counseling in the past. The trad/ortho Christians agreed that counseling which promises changes in one’s desires is to be avoided and discouraged. Candice, unfortunately, went further in projecting unhappiness on Rashad – implying he is destined to become miserable like the clients in her “affirming counseling” practice. She later states she “felt God’s presence most” when she kissed a woman. She went on to demonstrate a foundational difference between her perspective and that of the Christians on the panel:
Candice: “I am a gay Christian and I have the spirit of God inside of me. There's no scripture that you can point to that can disprove that because it's about my personal relationship with my soul and heart, with the divine being we call God.”
Rashad: “I actually do… I have two Scriptures…”
Candice: “I just told you, you cannot use Scripture sir.”
Rodereck: “How?”
Rashad: “But…we’re Christians!”
Candice: “If you’re gonna hold the Bible above my personal relationship with Jesus Christ then you have held the Bible as an idol.”
These are two different religions. Candice later referred to “the divine inside” herself, confirming she views god from an internal, feelings-based focus. A projection of her own senses. While the Christians on the panel view God as holy, with the authority to speak into their lives regarding their feelings, directing us into repentance, offering correction and His perspective, and providing the power to follow through on obedience. In her review of the debate, podcaster Amala Ekpunobi saw the difference between these two groups stemming from these different foundational perspectives.
Throughout the debate, the LGB+ identifying group had differing opinions on many of the prompts, while the Christian group were united in their responses, although none of them knew one another before the debate. Their unity was rooted in their reliance on the Word of God, their obedience in leaving SSA and their old behaviors behind, and their desire to reach everyone for Christ. While there was plenty of body language demonstrating their agreement or displeasure coming from the LGB+-identified group, the Christians were calm and listened politely, only shaking their heads when they were misunderstood by Gilbert on his assumption they were condemning Abigail. (Which, you could tell, they were eager to clarify and correct.)
In a later video interview of the Christian panel, done by Samuel Perez, we learn these Christians come from a charismatic background.[2] Some of the convictions associated with this branch of our faith caused some confusion and raised concerns among those commenting on the video. (I.e. - earthquakes are God’s punishment against a country living in disobedience to Him. Homosexuality is due to demonic influences, etc.) I don’t personally relate to these, having come from a different tradition in our faith, and I wish they would not have mentioned this due to the disproportionate attention this received, serving as a distraction from the rest of the discussion. The panelists did share they had been praying throughout the debate, and about how encouraged they were by hearing one another’s responses to the prompts and their individual stories.
Overall, the way in which the Christians conducted themselves was admirable, and I pray this discussion leads people to dig deeper into what it means to follow Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Confidential phone call or online meeting
We are here to help you. You can send us a general message on the contact form to the right, or if you would like to schedule a free, private and confidential phone call or online meeting with Garry Ingraham, please click here