I remember as a kid growing up in a highly rules-based home, with regular church attendance. I recall a near constant internal question which went something like this, “how much can I get away with, how much fun (sin) can I have, and still be okay with God”?

Of course, I see now this question is actually the wrong question on so many levels. Yet, I hear this being asked by many who see themselves as Christ-followers, and by some who are exploring Christianity and wondering if there is anything real about it – if Jesus actually is who He said He was. As adults, the wording of their question typically isn’t so obvious, but it’s essentially asking the same question – “can I get my eternal fire insurance, live the way I want to, and still be okay with God”?

In my mind, as a kid and well into my adulthood, God was a cosmic kill-joy and being a Christian might have meant escape from hell, but it also meant life on this side of eternity was doomed to pious boredom, with the unfortunate inevitability of a call to ministry that would necessarily be a miserable “labor of love”; perhaps missions work in on the other side of the world.

I had a particular fear of poisonous snakes, spiders, etc.… so of course, that would also be thrown in for personal “character development” as part of God’s will and calling on my life.

Without any awareness of it happening as a kid, I gradually developed an internal view of God that told me choosing the “narrow gate and narrow way” that Jesus calls his followers to in Matthew 7, meant a somber, joyless life.

By contrast, either passages like Psalm 16:11 weren’t preached on, or they just didn’t stick with me.

“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

If you grew up attending church or in a family that believed in God, what was your experience of Him? How did you feel about God as Father, Jesus or Holy Spirit? Perhaps more importantly, how did you believe He felt about you? How do you believe He feels about you right now? Do you know/feel that you’re a tremendous delight to Him as His son or daughter, or do you feel like more of a disappointment or that He’s actually pretty angry with you most of the time?

What does it actually mean to step through the small gate and walk the rest of our lives on this narrow path with Jesus, our Father, Holy Spirit, and our brothers and sisters who are choosing to journey the same path? As a surrendered and flawed follower of Jesus Christ, husband, father, pastor/ministry leader, and former member of the LGBTQ community, I believe God has given me a unique perspective from which to ask questions, learn and share with others.

Choosing to walk the narrow path as a way of life is what I feel compelled to explore more deeply for myself, with Melissa (my wife), and with my boys, as well as others who know there has to be more to life than what they’re living. I want to live my life in the presence of fellow travelers who also see the value of veering off the wide paths of both the world and mere religious practice.

The wide, worldly road is that of self-indulgence, preoccupation with self-fulfillment, self-identity, sexual “freedom”, and personal pleasure as the highest goals – increasingly, many churches have adopted a similar worldly perspective.

The other wide way is a religious road, which looks radically different on the outside than the worldly road (though hidden in secret, much of the same pursuits and behavior exist) with harsh, legalistic rules intended to keep behavior in line by self-effort and trying harder to please God by doing all (or most of) the right things, at least in public. Both wide roads lead to destruction.

We’ll be exploring far more about the wide vs. the narrow way in future posts. My hope is that we’ll grow on this journey together. Feel free to reach out and email us with any questions or constructive input. We appreciate hearing from our readers and ministry partners.

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