One of the things we highly believe in is making you aware of the excellent work of other ministries around the country. The chaos, brokenness and chains associated with sexual sin and relational brokenness within The United Methodist Church (even orthodox UMCs) and the broader evangelical church are profound and immeasurable. The need for sexual and relational restoration abounds ? there is great need and far too few workers in the field. Please pray with us for more biblical, loving, well equipped Christ-followers to put their ?hands to the plow? and join in this much needed ministry.
In this ministry update I want to let you know about a few people who are doing tremendous work, both within the Church and the public square, to make biblical alternatives to sexual addiction and relational brokenness available to hurting men, women, and youth. Transforming Congregations is in the midst of it, but there are more of us as well.
If you regularly read our ministry updates you know I usually conclude with a powerful and encouraging testimony of God?s grace in breaking through identity confusion and/or sexual addiction and setting captives free. However, I?m going to open this ministry update with Brenna Kate?s story and then come back to what I would like to share with you this month.
BREANNA'S TESTIMONY
I was born in May of 1975 with an alcoholic mother and a father who worked long hours. I spent much of my childhood alone with few close friends. I began experimenting sexually with girls at a young age. As a high school freshman, I began a physical relationship with my female best friend. Trying to make sense of what I was experiencing, I looked up "homosexuality" in a health book. The book said that if you had attractions for someone of the same gender, you were gay. I remember thinking, "There it is, in black and white. I am a homosexual."
This was not good news. I was living in a small NH town. This was 1990. That?s 7 years before Ellen DeGeneres came out and 12 years before Rosie O-Donnell. By age 16, I had a full-blown eating disorder and was also using self-injury as a coping mechanism.
Over the next 10 years, I had a series of lesbian relationships, including a long-term year relationship with a married woman. She and I had a mock wedding ceremony and from then on, she introduced me as her "wife." I lived with this couple for close to two and a half years. When my wife suggested I have sex with her husband, I did what she asked. I had never been with a man before. This began a cycle of abuse from her husband. I never said no. I was a guest in their home and if I said something, I would have to leave. Proverbs 27:7 states, ?One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.? The moments of love and acceptance I experienced with this woman somehow made the pain of the abuse tolerable. I didn?t know if I could live without her love.
My life spiraled out of control in many areas, not only in the area of my sexual identity, but also my eating disorder. Christians seemed to start coming out of nowhere to share about Jesus? love. They never took it upon themselves to say that I should not be a lesbian. Like everyone else, I was a sinner in need of Jesus in my life. That was my primary need. My sexual behavior was only one of many indicators of my broken, sinful state.
One of these friends gave me a CD by a passionate Christian artist. His voice sang of a friend who was always there, a friend who would give everything for him. That friend is Jesus. And this was good news. In the midst of that song, I cried out to God saying, "I want what he has!" God, in His great mercy, honored my prayer on that day in January of 1999.
I asked hard questions, of myself and of God. Was it really even possible to break free of the chains that still held my life in so many ways, and give myself fully to my relationship with Jesus Christ? I knew homosexual behavior was a sin. I knew Jesus was more real than anything I had ever experienced. I was faced with a choice: continue to embrace the familiar, which was the gay identity I had lived for so long, or take a major risk and trust that Jesus would be and could be enough.
Instead, I did what I knew I shouldn?t do: I entered another lesbian relationship. After 3 months, the girl I was dating said, ?Listen. You can?t be a Christian and be gay. The Bible says you must either be hot or cold. One or the other, but not lukewarm.? While quoting Scripture, she ended our relationship.
Soon after, I said, ?Fine, God! I don?t want this. Please - take these desires away from me.? And in some ways, He did. While my desires for women lessened, the events and circumstances of my life that led me in the direction of lesbianism, an eating disorder and self-injury had not changed. I knew I needed more help and healing than just my prayer of surrender. Romans 12:2 says, ?let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.? I went to a Christian counselor who helped me transform the way I lived and the way I thought.
Still, besides my closest friends, I didn?t want anyone to know about my past. I mean, I had seen how Christians treated gay people on Oprah! They basically tarred and feathered them! I remember being at a campus ministry conference soon after I laid my sexuality at the cross. There was a couple there ? the husband had come out of a gay past. I talked to his wife, giving me my first glimmer of hope that maybe there was another way. Maybe I didn?t have to be gay.
Fast forward through a lot of pain and hopelessness and God continually pursuing me and teaching me He is who He says He is, and He will do what He has said He will do. It was the summer of 2002. I had just gotten engaged to my now husband Roy. I kept in touch with that couple I had met at that conference. I wrote to them, wondering if there was a way I could give back. They connected me with a ministry in Boston, who reached out to Christians impacted by SSA, which needed a women?s leader.
I thought, God, this can?t be your will! I just wanted to lick envelopes! Did I really want to build a ministry around this part of myself I wasn?t sure I wanted to speak openly about? I prayed and once again, like I still try and do every day, surrendered myself and my agenda at the cross. 8 months later, I became the women?s leader, and 1 year and a half after that, in August of 2004, I became the director of Alive in Christ.
Since then? Well, I no longer have any issues talking about my SSA. It was a slow progression over the past 12 years, but in those years, I?ve been in the Boston Globe, on TV news, in 2 award-winning documentaries, on the TV show Pure Passion, and now speak at conferences around the US.
By the grace of God, I am married and have 2 amazing sons and a sweet baby girl. Still, I want to be really clear about something. I minister in this way despite the fact that I still experience SSA. It?s to a much lesser degree. Whereas once my SSA was like a swarm of killer bees, now it?s more like the occasional fruit fly. Experiencing temptation is not sin. But acting on it would be. Jesus was tempted but did not sin. If we expect ourselves to never experience temptation, then we expect to be more free than Jesus.
I can serve and give, even out of my weakness, because God is God, I am not, and He never asked me to be! 2 Corinthians 12:9 says His power is actually made perfect in our weakness, in those places where I still struggle and have to admit that truly, apart from Him, I can do nothing. Gal. 5 says, ?It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.? Freedom is not defined by how I feel; it's defined by what He did. Freedom is not even defined by the mistakes I still make or how good my behavior is or how free I?m feeling on a particular day; it's defined by the new identity God has given to me, and the freedom I?m learning to walk in. I am freed to serve, even out of my weakness, simply because of what Jesus did on the cross.
Other helpful ministries and the anti-Christian documentary "Pray Away":
Melissa and I have known Brenna for more than 10 years. In fact, in 2010 Brenna graciously agreed to drive from Boston to Binghamton, NY to lead worship for a conference we coordinated at the church I was on staff with. We booked Joe Dallas as our keynote speaker that weekend. It was an incredible time or worship and teaching. You can learn more about Brenna?s work and ministry at: https://alive-in-christ.net/
Joe Dallas is one of the leading voices in the U.S. (and the world) on topics related to restoring identity and sexual wholeness. He is both a compelling and inspirational speaker and author. Each one of his books is excellent. https://joedallas.com/
Joe?s latest book, ?Christians In A Cancel Culture? couldn?t be more needed than right now. Joe also launched a new podcast based on the same topic. Here?s the link https://bit.ly/2XFnty1, or type in the name of his book on YouTube and you?ll find it.
Incidentally, Joe?s wife Renee has been leading ministry to wives for years. Her ministry is called ?Wifeboat?. You can find her helpful website at: www.wifeboat.com
Melissa and I originally became acquainted with Brenna, Joe Dallas, as well as people like Sy Rogers, Andrew Comiskey (another powerful man of God and ministry leader whom God called out of homosexuality more than 40 years ago to establish Desert Stream Ministries ? www.desertstream.org), and literally hundreds of other men and women in pursuit of new life in Christ, through the ministry of Exodus International.
But by all current media accounts you would never know that Exodus International had once been a lifeline and hope-filled point of connection to thousands of men and women for nearly four decades. It was once a solid, biblical, inviting, caring community of nearly 300 ministries, counselors and churches across the country.
The reality is that, out of literally hundreds of others, a few Exodus leaders lost their way and turned their back on biblical teaching for what appealed to their fleshly desires. They made a conscious choice to bow to an anti-Christian narrative, and this is hardly a new phenomenon. We have plenty of examples and warnings about these false ideas and teachings that wormed their way into the practices of God?s chosen people, as well as the Church, throughout biblical times.
Why would anyone be surprised by the fact that Satan hates followers of Christ? He hates the message and gospel of Christ. He particularly hates effective ministries and churches teaching and living out restored sexual, relational, and identity wholeness because he is a deceiver and the father of lies. He cares very little about ?religion? that goes by the familiar title of Christianity. But vital Christian living that models sexual and relational integrity, has a clear understanding of our identity as binary (male and female) image bearers of God, and redeemed by the blood of Jesus? Now, that he hates and seeks to destroy.
I recently watched the documentary entitled, ?Pray Away? ? which is a complete hit-piece on the ministry of Exodus International and anyone who holds to a biblical understanding of human sexuality. The name alone is a mockery of biblical Christianity, prayer, and the power of God to change lives.
I was deeply saddened as I watched people I once knew and respected attempt to rewrite history and tear down the incredible work of a once amazing nationwide organization. The ministries of Exodus International offered biblical hope, belonging, and a journey of discipleship with Jesus, without shame or any type of coercion.
It is always tragic when those who once followed Christ and biblical teaching turn away from truth, especially when they teach others to do the same. However, according to Solomon, ?there is nothing new under the sun? Eccles 1:9
?They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us.? 1 John 2:19
?Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be maligned? promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.? II Peter 2:2, 19
The documentary did not even pretend to address anything biblical, and completely twisted scripture to support the desired narrative. It merely appealed to emotion and told a one-sided view of a few people casting the entire history of Exodus as an utterly negative thing. Meanwhile, the rest of us whose lives were transformed, in part due to the ministry of Exodus, now watch and listen to the new false-narrative, revisionist history with stunned surprise and sadness.
I was pleased to see Jeffrey McCall (former transgender individual and founder of the Freedom March) in the Pray Away documentary. Jeffrey founded a growing movement to take the message of God?s transforming power right into the Public Square through rallies, praise, prayer and a joy-filled march in downtown areas of various cities around the country. You can learn more about Jeffrey?s incredible ministry at: www.freedomtomarch.com
I felt the slant of the documentary attempted to make Jeffrey look foolish and naïve, but in the end it seemed to me that Jeffrey was the only one who was actually authentic and steadfast in his faith, having the courage and compassion to share God?s love and redemption from the power of sin with anyone who would listen and desired to be prayed for.
It isn?t difficult to recast history as something quite different than what it actually was. But for those of us who were actually there and experienced one or more ministries of Exodus, and the annual Exodus conference, experienced the truth and we know that God used Exodus International in the lives of thousands of men and women for His purposes of restoration and redemption. Exodus was His idea 40+ years ago and I am deeply thankful for years that Exodus stayed true to God?s Word.
With the fall and necessary closure of Exodus International in 2013, God had already established and raised up another biblical membership organization that Transforming Congregations is thrilled to be a part of. A number of ministries that left the Exodus organization when it took a deeply unbiblical departure from the truth were part of forming Restored Hope Network, a new organization committed to biblical truth and genuine love. You can learn more about Restored Hope Network at: www.restoredhopenetwork.org
One of the founding members of Restored Hope Network and current executive director is Anne Paulk. Her name may sound family to you. At one time Anne and her ex-husband worked for Focus on the Family. Their story of coming out of homosexuality made national print and television news. For many years they were the poster-children of the so-called ?ex-gay? movement.
Anne?s ex-husband is one of the prominent former leaders in the ?Pray Away? documentary. He returned to his former life as a self-identified gay man. Anne remains a faithful, compassionate and strong voice for all those looking for hope and way out of the misery of sexual sin and identity confusion.
Transforming Congregations remains the singular renewal ministry focused on equipping pastors and leaders to restore relational and sexual wholeness within the United Methodist Church, and poised for the new Global Methodist Church. You can learn more about us at www.transformingcongregations.org
SPREAD THE WORD
In addition to online curriculum training, Transforming Congregations offers leadership team development, as well as individual coaching/spiritual mentoring for individuals via Zoom. We?re also offering Webinar equipping opportunities. God has been so good to shine light on ways we can pivot from primarily in-person events and weekend ministry opportunities to virtual trainings and teachings.
God established and prepared Transforming Congregations so many years ago as a renewal ministry for The United Methodist Church, and now for the Global Methodist Church. We want to see Christ?s Church rise up and offer the hope of real life; life out of sexual sin, sexual addiction, relationship addiction, mediocre marriages, and identity confusion. This journey starts by looking inward to our own divided and compromised hearts, as well as to those we attend church with every week. This journey doesn?t begin by ?looking out there?. We can only lead people where we ourselves have been and now know the way? by the narrow path that Jesus spoke of.???????
If you or a loved one are struggling with sexual or relational brokenness, or if you are a UMC pastor with questions about how to best minister to struggling people within your congregation, we offer 1 hour of FREE, confidential personal or leadership help, which you may schedule on our website.
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