?Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.?
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Proverbs 3:5-6
Hello friends & ministry partners,
By the time you are reading this update we won?t even quite be through the first quarter of 2024. But what a time of ministry it?s been, and what a time of preparation for the balance of the year! I am always astounded by what God accomplishes through a few loaves and fish offered to Him? our lean and sold-out ministry team got away for a few days of prayer and planning for the balance of 2024.
It was an inspired opportunity to seek Him for His purposes and His plans for our lives and ministries. I was amazed to actually get through the many pages of agenda items and discussion points, eventually knowing that we had a solid path forward. Especially after scheduling out various steps in completing a number of complex goals, right through the end of 2024. We sensed God with us as we invited Him, and asked for His guidance, acknowledging our complete dependence on Him.
?Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it? Psalm 127:1
We are taking on some new initiatives for promoting the work and ministry of Love & Truth Network and, by extension, the work of Transforming Congregations specifically for the UMC and GMC. We will be doing an advertising campaign through Outreach Magazine, a publication with a focused reach to pastors and Christian leaders ? our primary audience. For the first time this year, we are also experimenting with paid advertising through a conservative social media platform. We have also contracted with a longtime ministry publicist and marketer I have known for quite a few years. He has already generated a number of interview prospects, but yesterday he reached out and confirmed an incredible opportunity. I will be joining Janet Parshall for an hour on her ?In the Market? program to discuss my book and ministries. Her radio program reaches over 700 stations.
With the completion of my first book, achieving our 40th podcast episode and our first full year of weekly podcasts, as well as celebrating our eleventh year of Love & Truth Network (TC has been around for over forty years now), we believe it is time to earmark part of our budget toward advertising. We?re blessed to see God open doors and expand our influence within the Church on these essential issues of sexuality, identity; even the basic understanding of what it means to be human. Getting the word out that we exist and we are here to support and equip pastors, leaders, and the local church is our primary objective.
We have also budgeted to bring on a part-time person who will be primarily responsible to get us on as many Christian/Conservative podcasts, radio, and television interviews as possible.
On February 13, I had the blessing of testifying at an Arizona State Senate Committee hearing to support the right of de-transitioners to receive medical care for when these men, women, and young people realize what a tragic error they made in believing the ?experts? in the mental health and medical community who push the lie that people can be trapped in the wrong bodies and need social, chemical, and surgical intervention to become their ?true-selves?.
Instead of support, de-transitioners have been ridiculed, lied about, and marginalized in the public square. Their heartbreaking stories of confusion, societal celebration of unreality, and gruesome ?transgender healthcare? are suppressed and distorted. The bill that I testified in favor of would require those who provide ?transgender healthcare? to also provide de-transitioners with the medical care they need to reclaim as much as their original and true self as possible.
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The Church is desperate for teaching and training that include both clarity and compassion on these vital issues reshaping the culture around us? and tragically, many churches and denominations as well.
We so greatly appreciate your prayers and financial partnership that provide the spiritual covering and means for us to expand our ministry to more churches around the country. On, that note, as an example of how your prayers for our family and ministries are so vital ? my wife Melissa, myself, and another Christian counselor in the Phoenix area were written up in a hit-piece in a local ?news? outlet and picked up by a couple similar groups in the area. The lies and gross exaggerations are nothing new, but it?s always a little unsettling to read such nonsense written about you.
Would you like to get more involved with the ministry work of Love & Truth Network? We have a number of projects before us that require skilled writers and researchers. If you are interested in exploring either of these opportunities (or you have another skillset you believe could provide helpful support), please reach out to us at:
TEACHING CORNER
The connection between past adverse childhood experiences (ACES), current loneliness, sexual sin and addiction are multifaceted. While past experiences are not strictly determinative with regard to future feelings or behavior, they often play a complex role in creating an internal milieu or ?soil of the heart?, out of which negative belief systems and feelings develop, and various hidden ways of coping take root.
In our fallen and sinful world, emotional wounds are universal experiences. Nobody gets out of childhood and into adulthood unscathed by wounds of the heart. In many cases, severe wounds. Similarly to depression, emotional wounds can?t be seen or diagnosed with the natural eye. There is no obvious disease or bodily injury so they are usually ignored by others and downplayed as insignificant. Easily brushed aside as: ?That happened so long ago.? ?Why are you still holding on to it?? ?Forgive and forget?.
In addition, we typically go to great lengths to hide our inner wounds because they often produce intense feelings of self-hatred, insecurity, and an unworthiness to be loved. Convinced that these dark lies about ourselves are true, our inner turmoil drives us to find relief - one way or another.
We are too often unaware that Jesus not only died to remove our personal penalty of sin when we surrender to Him and receive His cleansing and forgiveness on the basis of His finished work on the cross, but He also died for the sins done against us. Rather than appropriating His cleansing power in our lives and helping others to do the same, we lurch toward people, places and things that provide quick relief and intense emotional/physical experiences.
The issue is, most of these things that fill in the gaps and voids of our heart are usually both temporary and damaging to our soul in the process. But because of the momentary elevation of our mood or the powerful sensation of intimate connection (no matter how fake or devoid of genuine love and intimacy it actually is) our brain and body locks onto the pleasure chemicals released during the experience and craves yet another experience, and another... Never satisfied, sin lures us deeper and further into unhealthy patterns, then toward addiction ? trapping us in a prison of worthless and damaging pursuits. We can lose years of our lives chasing these momentary ?highs?, while the impact that God created us for is diminished or never realized at all.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood, such as rejection, abandonment, abuse (emotional, physical, sexual), neglect, or household dysfunction. These experiences can have a profound impact on an individual's emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being, leading to long-term negative consequences. In addition to fostering unhealthy coping patterns and addiction, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, individuals with four or more ACEs are more likely to experience chronic health conditions and mental health problems.
From a Christian perspective, it is essential to recognize that ACEs can also have a significant impact on an individual's spiritual well-being. The Bible teaches that we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and that our worth and value are not defined by our past experiences or current circumstances. However, individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, which can contribute to a negative self-image, resulting in disconnection from God and others and then turning to counterfeit solutions to feel? something. Anything.
All of our ?connections and internet friends? nonwithstanding, loneliness is a pervasive and crushing issue in today's society, affecting individuals of all ages and backgrounds. Solomon states in Proverbs 13:12, ?Hope deferred makes the heart sick?. There is no more basic emotional need for every human being than the need to be loved and valued. For some, these experiences can lead to the formation of deep insecurity and a low view of themselves, while others can respond in the opposite extreme, developing a sense of entitlement ? a high view of themselves and a low view of others.
Individuals who feel isolated and disconnected may turn to sexual behaviors as a way to cope with their emotions and to seek connection and validation. This can lead to a pattern of compulsive behavior and addiction, creating a vicious catch-22, further isolating the individual in a cycle of belief, thought, and behavior - all contributing to deepening feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness.
The Church has a role, even a calling, to provide supportive and healing environments. How have we gotten away from the perspective that, among other things, we have a vital role to play as a hospital for ill people? On a Sunday morning, our churches are like an emergency room of sick patients in need of healing and care, but who are pretending not to be. Our churches are filled with people who claim to be ?fine?. We are meant to be an ER, an OR, even a MASH unit, on the frontlines of culture, equipped and able to walk with hurting and broken people who don?t even fully realize how much their past is impeding and negatively directing their present.
Deitrich Bonhoeffer writes in his book Life Together: ?He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final break-through to fellowship does not occur, because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners!?
The church not only needs to return to a hospital model, but a teaching-hospital model. Meaning, it isn?t sufficient that we have a few paid staff to do all the work or even a relatively few number of volunteers taking on the majority of the load of ministry. We need vibrant teaching hospitals where people are being healed up and maturing in their faith and emotions, and are being equipped to become part of a growing team of spiritual doctors and nurses.
As Paul states in Ephesians 4:11-12 ?And He gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the building up of the body of Christ.?
The Church should be a place where individuals can find acceptance, love, and biblical truth without condemnation or self-righteous piety.
By practicing radical hospitality and community, the Church can provide a safe and transformational space for those who are hurting and in need of healing. A hospital isn?t a hospice unit. It?s a place for healing, not a place for comfort-care until we die. I want to emphasize that we do not only need places of safety, but of rich and radical transformation. We do not merely need a ?tweak? on our broken selves, but a deep reconstruction of our hearts.
C.S. Lewis also emphasized the importance of vulnerable and authentic relationships in the Christian life. In his book, The Four Loves he writes: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."
As Christians who desire to have meaningful impact in the lives of those within our sphere of influence, it is essential to recognize how trauma can affect an individual's emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being, and to provide a supportive and healing environment for those who are struggling. Also keep in mind, there are many people around us whom we wrongly assume we know pretty well, who are also struggling with unhealed areas of wounding, but have learned to cover up the pain and hide their unhealthy methods of coping.
Maybe that?s you! By understanding the connection between these issues and by providing a loving and accepting community, the Church can help individuals find genuine hope, healing, and restoration.
TOM COLE'S STORY???????
I had many difficulties as a child. In addition to being unusually skinny, I had a speech impediment and learning difficulties. In fact, I didn?t learn how to read until about the fifth grade. I was very uncoordinated and lacked athletic skills, which caused me to be teased by classmates and friends. When I was in the first grade, I remember having the recurring thought that God had made a mistake. I would pray before going to bed, ?God, please make me a girl before I wake up.? To make matters worse, when I was in the sixth grade, I was sexually molested. Scared and ashamed, I hated my private parts and wished they were gone!
I continued to struggle secretly, feeling like I was actually a girl throughout childhood. An expert at stuffing my emotions, I managed to avoid dealing with my confusion until I fell in love with a young lady in college. Overwhelmed by feelings of love, I knew I had to deal with these confusing feelings of dysphoria. My sister helped me find a sexuality therapist, and I also started using the university?s resources to research transgenderism. Though I desired to be a ?normal man,? the messages I received were overwhelming: The only way to overcome my dysphoria was to change my body to conform to my inner identity. Still hopeful that I could live as a man, I married my college sweetheart and continued to seek therapy. But after five or six years of agony?and a failed marriage?I told my therapist that I wanted to identify as a woman. Struggling with depression, I was willing to try anything, and she affirmed my decision.
I changed my name from Billy to Billie and began taking a testosterone blocker and estrogen. Three years later, I had my first surgery?a penile inversion, an Adam?s apple shave, and a brow shave. Afterwards, the doctor and nurses had difficulty stopping the bleeding from my new ?vagina.? They packed my artificial vagina with gauze and put a sandbag on my lower abdomen in an effort to stop the bleeding. But it would not stop, and they had to administer a blood transfusion and plasma. Over time, I jumped through all the hoops and did everything I was supposed to do to try to change my sex. I had cosmetic surgeries to look more like a woman, but no matter how many surgeries I had, every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a man staring back at me.
Ironically, I had married a second time prior to these surgeries. Though my wife and I both identified as heterosexual, we presented as a lesbian couple after my surgery. We loved each other deeply, but our marriage couldn?t withstand the stress, and she eventually divorced me seven years later. I realized I had more problems than ever before. Changing my body had not resolved my internal conflict and had not made me happy. Instead, I was left with countless scars, two broken marriages, and drained financial resources. Depression began to set back in, and once again, I was searching for answers. So, I moved back to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to gain the support of my family. Desperate for change, I also cried out to God. The day I made the decision to surrender my life and my problems to Jesus, I actually heard him say, ?Now, I have some clay to work with.?
Slowly but surely, as I began to seek the things of God, circumstances in my life began to change radically. I returned to church and began spending time in Bible study and prayer. The more I learned about spiritual warfare and biblical identity, the clearer my mind became. It was as if someone had turned on a light bulb. As I read the books Reclaiming Surrendered Ground: Protecting Your Family from Spiritual Attacks by Jim Logan and Victory Over the Darkness and The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson, I had epiphany after epiphany. Within a year, at age 38, I began making choices to go back to identifying as a man. The entire process took about two or three years, and during that time, I changed all my documents and returned to my original identity as Billy.
I am now 54 years old. My thoughts are clear, and I am free of the mental turmoil I had as a kid and growing up. I am happily married to a woman. We have two beautiful stepdaughters and best of all, I have peace of mind. With the benefit of age and experience, I now realize the procedures I underwent as a young man failed me in several areas. First, none of my mental health counselors ever told me that all people have a continuing need for acceptance, significance, and security. As a child, I thought that by ?being a girl? my psychological needs would be fulfilled. But that was wrong. Second, the mental health professionals simply assumed that the only way I could be mentally healthy was to convince myself that I should have been, and therefore was, a woman. But that was also wrong. The many surgical procedures and drugs they encouraged left me worse off than when I began. Third, I had a number of childhood issues that the mental health professionals failed to uncover and adequately address. Had those issues (a speech impediment, a learning disability, and childhood sexual abuse) been dealt with properly, I may have never gone down the expensive and painful road on which I traveled.
I have great compassion for children and teenagers who feel this same inner incongruence. They look to their parents and healthcare professionals for guidance. Even as an adult, I relied on the mental health counseling I received while deciding whether to change my presentation from male to female. But in my experience, the mental health profession is so quick to promote identifying as the opposite sex that surgical procedures and drugs are promoted as the only real solution for those struggling. My mental health professionals led me to make a horrible mistake. This experience has led me to question whether most mental health professionals have adequate training to make the right recommendations for still-developing children and teenagers.
*** Credit to our friends at Changed Movement for compiling and sharing this and other powerful stories of transformation through the power and love of Jesus Christ ***