ABOUT GARRY &
MELISSA INGRAHAM
Garry Ingraham
Though I grew up in a Christian family it was a home without much warmth or love. Our church was legalistic and unbalanced. As a child, a realization began to set in; I was developing strong and growing attraction to other guys. After praying for years and begging God to take away what He clearly condemned in Scripture, I worked up the nerve to approach several Christian leaders about the battle going on inside of me. They provided no answers and offered no help or support. After that I rebelled altogether. Looking for “Mr. Right” while experiencing sexual “freedom” took a huge toll on my life.
Eventually, God brought me to an unusual church that offered to walk alongside me, even with all my sin, weakness and immaturity. Over time, the men treated me as if I belonged with them (that was a new experience). They cared and showed the real love of Jesus to me. Just by being in relationship with me they began to “call out” the good of the masculine – established in me by God from the beginning. Honestly, they didn’t really even know what
they were doing, they were just good men who understood their own depravity and didn’t view or treat me as uniquely screwed up. God began to use his sons and daughters in this “healthy-enough” church to reveal and bring out the “truest me”– the man I was created to be.
God called me into full-time ministry, and after 12 years of working at this church and pastoring, I’m still on my healing journey. I founded Love & Truth Network, a ministry that comes alongside Christian leaders to help equip them to create redemptive, compassionate and transformational environments for people experiencing all kinds of relational and sexual brokenness — the majority of us in the body of Christ!
Melissa Ingraham
I grew up in a religious family where we attended church every week, but I didn’t learn about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. My parents’ marriage was troubled, and my dad responded by staying away for longer and longer periods of time. I believed I wasn’t worth sticking around for. Not seeing my mom stand up for herself, some sexually abusive experiences, and finding pornography in our home, I internalized that it wasn’t safe to be a woman, so I detached from my femininity. I went looking for love and affirmation in relationships with men. In college, I was deeply unhappy and depressed, even though I was engaged to be married, and was excelling academically. I began to question my sexuality, wondering if a relationship with a woman would fulfill me. I entered a lesbian relationship my senior year, and it felt like this was what I’d been looking for my whole life. That relationship was short-lived, and when it ended I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I cried out to God to help me, and He did.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior a couple of months later when I heard through someone’s testimony of walking away from a lesbian relationship that, “Just because I felt
something, doesn’t make it right!” In that moment, the Holy Spirit pierced through the deception I was believing, and I repented of my idolatry and sin. I received God’s forgiveness and gift of eternal life, but I also knew I needed help to transform the distorted ways I saw others and myself.
I struggled for a couple of years in silence and shame until I was invited to a small group where I learned about God’s love for me, and also His truth. My brothers and sisters prayed for me and ministered to me even though I didn’t share my struggles with same-sex attraction right away. I also found a healing, discipleship group where I began to understand and heal from the impact of my early life experiences. I found freedom from shame and began to embrace my femininity as a gift from God. I sensed God leading me into ministry to others dealing with sexual and relational brokenness, so I pursued a Master’s degree in Counseling. I am passionate about helping Garry equip the Body of Christ so we can all experience transformation. I’ve been a licensed counselor for 14 years, and Garry and I have been married for almost 13. We have two boys and a bearded dragon!